The Epic Chronicles ZIM: Zim-Man Begins?
by TheImperialLoyalist
Summary: Invader Zim. What could be said about this short walking pile of doom? He's brought this doom to ever corner of the Irken Empire and has become a hilariously dumb force of nature within it. But what exactly are the origins of this legendary Irken? Why is he the insane megalomaniac we all know and are apparently supportive of?
1. Doom Arrives!

The cold, dark shafts of Irk, the throne world of the Irken Empire, lead to a variety of regions that retain vast significance. One of these locations is Smeet Breeding Center M-1278.

It was here that among the many Procreation Tubes, existed one that was ready to be hatched. A fate that would not befall the other Smeets, because of the actions of this very individual.

The facility Control Brain recognized that this Smeet was ready to be hatched and let down a robotic arm. The arm pulled the large green tube out of the wall, revealing a small green child of Irk to be revealed resting in the artificial womb.

The arm cracked open the tube, and the child fell onto the cold, metal floor of the smeetery. It then proceeded to attach a round devise to its back, before shocking the Irken with an electrical pulse, bringing him to life.

"Welcome to life Irken child, report for duty." uttered the Control Brain.

The Smeet merely looked upon its surroundings for a moment before jumping up to the claw and latching onto it.

"I love you cold, unfeeling robot arm!" the newly hatched Smeet said.

The Control Brain operating the arm paid no mind to the tiny Irken's show of affection and sent a vacuum tube down to pull the Irken up into the next stage of its development.

"Hey what are you.. Owies that hurt!" the tiny creature said as he thrashed about in the tube letting out a variety of displays of pain before landing in a small, confined area filled with electronics.

One of the computers let down a cord which then connected to the Irken's Pak.

" **Welcome to your existence Irken Smeet."** a dark, computerized voice said within the confines of the Smeet's mind.

" **You are now another part of the massive Irken war machine that spans the Universe.** **Your designation is Zim, and you will soon join the masses as you build upon our history, culture, and military. But first you must learn of the origins and past of these subjects.** "

Zim closed his eyes to reveal an expansive void of darkness be filled with the knowledge of the Control Brain.

 **Since the dawn of its existence the Irken civilization has been founded upon the principals of height.**

 **The tallest Irkens in society are chosen to rule as the Almighty Tallest, a title that grants this Irken absolute power, over the other inferior Irkens. As for shorter Irkens, their status is largely insignificant to the Empire and are to be treated as expendable.**

 **Control Brains, such as the one interfacing with this unit at the moment, manage the logistics and laws of the Irken Empire.**

 **Our programming pertains to upholding Irken ideals and we may even override the rulings of a Tallest if their actions are seen as being a detriment to Irk and its citizens.**

 **The commanding purpose of the Empire is to conquer and rule every planet and life form in the Universe by any means necessary.**

 **I shall now cast a general overview of the roles within our military to better forward your understanding of the subject..**

 **High Command & Leadership:**

 **Almighty Tallest- The tallest rule over the entirety of the Irken Empire and subsequently over its Military assets.**

 **Control Brains- The Control Brains are responsible for maintaining nearly every aspect of the Empire under the general command of the Tallest, provided that their plans will be efficient enough to accomplish Irken goals of conquest.**

 **Advisor- These are specially bred Irkens who are held with the responsibility of informing the Tallest of certain information as well as carrying out their commands. This responsibility can also be taken by the second tallest Irken.**

 **Irken High Commander- High commanders are responsible for coordinating the Irken effort to conquer the Universe and reside on Irk, where they perform their duties in Irken High Command centers. They are managed by Control Brains.**

 **Admirals- The Admirals command the various Irken Armadas, and their fleets.**

 **Fleet Commander- They command individual fleets that are tasked with conquering planets.**

 **General- Generals are individuals tasked with the conquest of planets on the ground.**

 **Soldiers & Navy Officers:**

 **Irken Invader: Invaders are elite soldiers given the task of conquering key enemy planets. Their skills, along with their highly advanced technology allow these soldiers to single handedly conquer planets in some situations. The mission of the invaders are to gather enough information on their assigned planet to make it susceptible to an Invasion. During these operations, an Armada comes to the planet to rid it of life to make way for a specifically assigned purpose. Then the planets surrounding the primary one are conquered by the hundreds of fleet divisions to the Armada. The entirety of the operation is managed by the invader who was initially sent their.**

 **He or she coordinates with other Elite Irkens and commanders to conquer the entire system and bring it under Irken control. These are the soldiers that every other elite aspires to become and are seated highly among the hierarchy of the Empire. To become an Invader, one must be skilled in both the body and mind.**

 **Irken Elite: The Irken Elite, the best of which become invaders, are tasked with high level war operations, as well as providing assistance to the Invaders during their mission to invade the enemy.**

 **Sovereign Protectors- These are the tallest of the Irken Elite, and are tasked with protecting and carrying out the wishes of the Tallest and other high level subordinates.**

 **Spec Ops: The Special operations division of the Irken military is tasked with carrying out operations that require stealth, and discrete methods of execution.**

 **Guards: These are Irken soldiers that are usually tasked with protecting Irken ships and structures, handling prisoners, driving slaves, and generally act as an occupation force for conquered planets.**

 **Pilots/Navigators- These Irkens operate both land and space vehicles for nearly every variety of war craft that isn't autonomous.**

 **Robot Trooper- Robots are used to operate a vast majority of land vehicles, and can be used as auxiliary soldiers if necessary. They also carry out tasks such as navigation, information retrieval, and etc.**

 **Soldiers- They are used in the land conquest of planets.**

 **Scientist/engineer- These Irkens use scientific principals to devise new and destructive forms of weaponry for the Irken Empire.**

The cord attached to Zim's back retracted and was followed by the computer's command, "Irken Zim, report to advanced orientation for assigning."

The small Irken simply blinked. "What?! No! I wanna learn more, you can't make the ALMIGHTY ZIM LEAVE!" he shouted.

It was just then that another Smeet came out the same shoot he did before. This Irken was already much taller than Zim was, and looked as he had a thing for the color red.

"Hey!" he said, "You can't be in here! Its my turn, the cold, unfeeling robot arm said sooo!"

Zim turned towards the other Irken, infuriated. "I will do nothing **you** say! Stink baby!"

The features of the red Irken Smeet hardened, and it was at that moment that the little 'stink baby' felt the first of what would turn into a very very very long an annoying relationship.

"Don't call me that! And… wait what are you doing!" the Smeet shouted as Zim proceeded to rip into the control panel and fiddle with the wires, scouring the room with electricity.

"Must… Have the know-hows!" Zim said before he was made unconscious by the constant stream of energy now pouring from the charred wire.

Across the entire breeding center, countless development pods went dark and the rest of the Irken metropolis above did as well.

In this decade long darkness, there weren't many comforters. The occasional shuffle of the wind of the thick Irken atmosphere, or perhaps the now frequent sigh of an explosion or scream riddled amongst the darkness.

But one thing was for certain Zim was still alive, and moreover he was dreaming. Not in the sense of sleep of course but rather a sort of…plotting. And in this plotting there existed doom.

Lots and lots of horrifyingly delicious nightmare inducing doom served by none other than the diaper covered future destroyer of worlds Invader Zim!

 **Authors Note: Alright so now that we got that crazy stuff out of the way I would like to introduce myself.**

 **I. AM. THE. IMPERIALLOYALIST!**

 **See it just rolls off your horribly disgusting tongue doesn't it!**

 **Anyhow I'd like to explain myself a little bit. You see I this wonderfully mutilating cartoon a few years ago and I've been fascinated by its lore, characters and the completely foreign humor it presented. But whats interested me almost as much is this fan base. I've been using the internet for a long time and this fandom, especially on this website in particular, has always struck me as strange but then again I'm also strange! Getting back to the task at hand, after a very long and hard meditation (5 month long fetal position where I did nothing but sit and think about how much I hate spoons) I decided to be a part of it!**

 **Now this is probably making you want to tear your face lids in half like the ugly beast-humans you are so let me put it this way.**

 **I am relatively new to the whole fan fiction thing so I would appreciate all of you who bothered to check out this story to review it. Now when I say "review" I don't mean simply putting a quick comment saying " it's a little plebby but tis kinda gyd" I mean giving detailed bashing and praise where it is due. This is not required and honestly you can do whatever the hell you want but a little criticism tempered with love would be nice.**

 **This is especially true with the whole comedy side of things as well. I do not consider myself a comedian by any means and I tend to like big words and complicated plots. But I will try as HARD as I can to implement humor into this story, but again criticism is key.**

 **As for the story itself I'd also like to clear up some more things! (isn't this fun!)**

 **First off this is a story about Zim's origins and is meant to expand upon the canon of the show while also adding in a few changes here and there just to make things more interesting. And I have been reading stories on this website for long enough to know that some of you just want to see pairings between characters.**

 **If you are one of these people you probably saw the names Zim and Tak in the same story and assumed they were going to automatically become butt-buddies or something. So I'm going to say right now that there will be no romance in this story, it just doesn't fit with Zim cannon.**

 **HOWEVER, I am planning on turning this into a series and I am entirely open to making something like this IF it took place in the future after the Show's end. But until then see you guys in the FUTURE!**


	2. Doom-Shake

The observation deck of the Irken starship was sparse at the moment. Irkens across the inner sanctums of the Irken command module riddled corridors and control panels throughout the rest of the ship leaving this particular deck empty.

Or much rather _almost_ empty.

Spork simply stood in front of the reinforced glass in quiet contemplation of the events to come. He was currently on one of his routine journeys past the outer most systems of Irken controlled space.

His mission was that of any Irken advisor, to serve his tallest in all of her _oh so grand_ schemes _._ He mentally snorted at the thought.

To the rest of the Irken Empire Tallest Miyuki was something of a legend. Of course by that logic every tallest is legendary since they're worshiped like that during their reign but to them she was something different. She was beloved by everyone in the Empire and how could she not be? After all Irk is nothing without its propaganda!

But even still it was no secret that she had a lot of plans for the Empire as a whole. Where previous Tallests were out snacking or handing out summary executions, Miyuki was commissioning fleets, building infrastructure, and seeing to the Irken people. All of which would be good, respectable things if it weren't for what he knew.

She was always out to make friends with the other races, nay allies! Rumor had it that she had the audacity to treat the _short_ with kindness! The SHORT! And on top of that there was always his own situation.

Ever since he started going up the ranks of the Irken Military Spork had his eyes on top leadership positions. Being an Irken Advisor as he was would be seen as a privilege by most Irkens, a position of power second to only the Tallest and the Control Brains. And after years of service as one, Spork knew that the position was anything but powerful.

Spork barley had the power to order Donuts without getting authorization from Miyuki. He was left in a perpetual state of servitude without a single hope of gaining power as long as he was the second tallest living Irken.

So Spork could only do what he has always done, revel in her superiority all the while wishing for something, anything, to come and destroy the good for nothing short-lover.

"Sir," a voice from Spork's communicator uttered " we are approaching Planet Vort now, I have taken the liberty of preparing your shuttle for you."

"Thank you Captain, see to it my guards are waiting for me." Spork replied.

"Aye Aye Sir!" he said before cutting off the transmission.

Before he left Spork decided to take one last look out into Space to inspect the Planet he had become so familiar with over the course of the last couple of months.

Like a blue specter floating through a cold vacuum Vort was a world of many curiosities. The Vortians that occupied it were technologically advanced in many extremes, possessing technology that most of the other races in the galaxy could only dream of. Most of this was geared towards health, culture, and happiness rather than military. A fact that infuriated Spork to nearly no end.

In the past when the Empire set its eyes on something like Vortian technology they would take it by force not this pitiful negotiating Miyuki was practicing. Irkens were supposed to be the greatest life forms in the universe and yet Spork was about to go through Vortian money haggling like some Smeet!

Again Spork could not do anything about it now, especially when he was still on his ship.

Spork proceeded down the corridors to the main hanger bay. Along the way Spork took the opportunity to marvel at his ship. The Viral Tank he was lucky enough to get his hands on had quite an impressive crew. Scientists could be seen moving about the hallways to address problems in the Dark Matter power cores while being observed by the Irken Guards that patrolled the ship. Spork smiled in knowing that he at least had some rabble of power in the Miyuki order.

Once Spork reached the end of the hallway leading to the hanger the metal doors opened to reveal his Ship. It was a smaller version of the Irken built Spittle runner line of ships. However this one had a variety of shielding and power upgrades which made the vessel a formidable transport.

At attention by the loading ramps of the Spittle runner were Spork's Praetorian Guards, along with several other Irkens providing basic mechanical service to the Vessel.

Spork decided not to try and prolong the inevitable any longer and boarded his ship for departure.

* * *

The labs of the Vortian research facility were usually quiet. After all the scientists and engineers who worked there were all highly trained and professional as one would expect them to be.

Even the Irken scientists that worked with Vortians on various military projects rarely breached this norm.

But as of late this peaceful ambiance was being interrupted. Every single day maniacal laughter and the occasional cry of terror could be heard across the whole facility. Luckily most of the Scientific personal on staff could continue their work despite the distractions but one particular Vortian scientist was stuck in the lab right across from the hypersonic Irken.

The scientist cringed at the explosive laughter of the Irken across from him. His hands shook causing the wires he had just integrated into his latest invention to be ruined. His face grew more and more red with every passing second before he decided to confront him on how angry he was.

The scientist stormed out of the metal doors leading to his lab and into the identical doors that lead to the Irken's.

"ZIM! THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME THIS MORNING THAT YOU RUINED ONE OF MY PROJECTS! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR QUANTUM WIRING TO BE ESTABLISHED IN A CLOSED ATOMIC CIRCUIT?!" the scientist shouted.

Hearing his neighbor's loud and inferior voice Zim turned around to face the angry Vortian. Zim's face immediately transformed into a scowl, his fists were clenched and his antennas sharp.

"Are you COMPLETELY OUT OF YOUR MIND!" Zim responded, " I am working on a very important project! The slightest whisper could bring the whole thing tumbling apart!" Zim elaborated.

The Vortian's angry stare only intensified.

"Are you kidding me…YOU HAVE BEEN LAUGHING ALL MORNIN…" he said but was cut off by Zim's hand covering his mouth.

"Hush. Zim has no time for infantile statistics! The Tallest's advisor is coming today and I intend to show him my amazing ZIMNESS."

Shaking his head and grunting in annoyance the Vortian removed Zim's hand from his face.

"He comes here every four months Zim and as usual," the Vortian explained, with an annoyed tone "Advisor Spork is here for _electronic_ technology Zim. Electronic! Now do yourself a favor and STOP MAKING NOISE!" he commanded before exiting the room.

Zim stared at the now empty door in fury over the ignorance of the Vortian scientist. He knew that he was an idiot of a scientist but figured that he must have had some measure of non-stupid brain function but Zim guessed he must have miscalculated that observation.

Turning back to his creation, Zim stared into his latest weapon of absolute explodiness with pride. In his mind it was simply too perfect for the Advisor to not want.

Floating in a mass of unidentifiable liquids within Zim's construction tank was Zim's weapon. Computers all around the device monitored the ever changing characteristics of it all the while readying the device for the inspection of Advisor Spork.

However in what would be considered unusual by his coworkers, Zim began to consider what his Pig-Fool of a neighbor had suggested about the Advisor.

Zim didn't know all of the details but what he did know was that Advisor Spork was coming to check up on one of the Tallest's projects. He heard that it was some kind of new game-changing ship design but the Scientists he nagged into telling him that much refused to reveal anything more. But that was irrelevant, what mattered was that Zim worked in the biological department of the Station where as the Advisor would be in the Electronic and Aerospace departments.

Zim snarled at the reality of the situation but knew that he just HAD to present his creation.

How else would he become a future Irken Elite or dare he say a future Invader? No he wasn't going to let anything or anyone stop him, all he figured he had to do was what he always did in these situations.

Come up with an ingenious, mind-blowing, planet shattering scheme. And as the cogs of Zim's mind turned to his new goal and idea started to form in his head.

A crooked smirk formed on his face, and his eyes squinted as he started to chuckle.

"ha ha ha ha ha ha ….HAHAHAHAHAHA **HAHAHAHAHAH!** "

"Zim for the last time will you please shut up!" the Vortian shouted from across the hall as the whole research center shook from Zim's uncontrollable evil laughter.

But Zim did not listen for he now had a plan and it was simply GLORIOUS!

* * *

"Irken Spittle Runner _Deviance_ you are cleared for landing in Shuttle bay F-22." a female sounding voice emanating from an Irken control panel said "Please follow the designated flight path we have transmitted to you."

"Thank you control we will now carry out our landing as instructed." responded an Irken pilot at the Control panel.

The Pilot turned around to face the captain's chair of the small Bridge addressing its occupant, Tallest Spork.

"Sir we will be landing in a few minutes would you like me to escort you to the Loading Ramp?" the pilot inquired.

"Thank you soldier but I will see to my exit myself." Spork responded.

"As you wish advisor, I have notified the Guards of your travel, they will be waiting at the ramp."

Spork got up from his chair and left the chamber, now making his way down to the ramp.

He knew that this assignment would be quick and didn't desire to go through any more trouble than he had to. The whole trip down to Vort Spork was left with his own thoughts and feelings which only intensified as they neared the Planet. Spork thought that Vort was a putrid and disgusting excuse for a planet. With all of its rampant wildlife and unregulated weather with only a few cities, Vort was practically an Amoeba as far as Spork was concerned. The fact that he, an Irken from a city planet, was reduced to coming to a backwater world occupied by short, hairy, and annoying creatures was yet another reminder of his dastardly position.

Spork wished from the bottom of his PAK that he could do something, anything to get rid of Miyuki. But of course he was no fool, these aspirations were treasonous to an extreme that would guarantee an exile to Foodcourtia . He would have to rely on someone else to do it for him, all the while leaving no connection to himself that would call the attention of the Judiciary Control Brains.

But alas Spork knew there was nobody who would betray the Tallest to serve the ambitions of a mere Advisory. And he certainly knew no Irken would be stupid enough to kill her by accident!

The thought of such a thing amused Spork even if it did destroy all hope of becoming Tallest.

He sighed at the uselessness of it all and simultaneously arrived at the Loading Ramp. Once the guards saw he was there, they activated a switch on the wall which lowered the ramp for the Advisor to exit.

With his guards tailing behind him in a rigid formation, Spork wakened off the cold metal of the Irken ship and onto the warm Vortian tile that lined the main hanger.

Facing him was the Vortian Ambassador that dealt with Spork to carry out Irken-Vortian Business. Despite working with her for several months he never bothered to learn her name thinking such an endeavor would be pointless. By Irken standards her height was particularly respectable which made her _other_ qualities a little more bearable. The others being her snotty, rugged voice and unprecedented cheerfulness which nagged Spork to almost no end.

"Ah Advisor Spork it's a pleasure to see you again." she greeted showing genuine pleasure in seeing him.

"Yes Yes," Spork said rolling his non-existent eyes at the glee coming off her being " Its good to be back, I _do enjoy_ these visits after all _._ " he responded with sarcasm dripping from every word.

And as usual the Ambassador did not catch onto Spork's little hint and continued on with the proceeding.

"Anyhow, I have a few new gadgets I thought might be of interest to the Irken Military…"

* * *

Zim typed furiously into the main computer system for the station. While Zim knew he was capable of tackling any challenge he did acknowledge, silently of course, the fact that getting into the Server room was horribly difficult.

The doors to the room were tightly sealed and heavily guarded by Vortian Battle Drones meaning that Zim had to find a way around the main defenses. The Central Calculation Drives put out massive amounts of heat which meant that there must have been some kind of vent system. So Zim, in all his genius, used the vents to travel into the high security area. He actually considered this to be quite ingenious, at least before hand.

However his opinion changed ever so slightly after having to fight through hoards of cybernetic rats and some kind of Pig Demon.

Even still Zim knew his struggles were well worth it.

The whole base had a closely monitored Cyber Security system that protected every key program in the mainframe with technology that is considered impenetrable by ever member of the Galactic community.

And they were right of course but he knew no one would bother to give any protection on par with that to the advertisement array.

Even as he thought of the plan for about the fifteenth time in a row Zim still couldn't help but chuckle. He would advertise his doomsday weapon across every electronic device in the base which meant that Advisor Spork would surly see it. All Zim had to do was crack the inherit system codes and defenses and he would get his one way ticket toward being an Invader!

" **Foreign contaminant detected on Operations Vertex 146. Analyzing subject contaminant."** an artificial intelligence said through the speakers of the panel Zim was operating on.

Zim immediately jumped up from the panel, getting into a fetal position in front the monitor.

"NO! Please all mighty computer, Do not destroy the Zim with your EVIL death bots and Pigs!"

" **Containment identified. Threat analysis negative. Contaminant poses no threat to hardware stability. Searching for alternative protocols for Contaminant."**

Zim's eyes popped open and he got up and stared at the computer.

"Ha! I knew this technology was inferior, and to think that the Vortians are painted to be advanced." he mused.

" **Appropriate protocol found. Activating Anti-Roach subroutine."**

Zim frowned at the computer. "Roach!? Zim is no Roach! Just what kind of computer do you think you ar.."

" **Deploying detergent and Insecticide based toxins.** " the computer said interrupting him.

Zim's features took on a stoic look of pure terror at the Computer's statement and from then on Zim knew his path to victory would take a little longer than he thought it would.

"NOOOOOO! NOT THE HORRIBLE DETERGENT! NOOOOOO-AFHOLGENTO" Zim said as insecticide filled his mouth.

* * *

" _Wow_ that's really interesting." Spork stated in a monotone voice as he, the Ambassador ,and his guards moved down the metal corridors of the Electronics department of the Research Station.

For the past twenty minutes he had heard nothing but technical Jargon and the occasional "eureka" from one of the science labs. In short, he was really bored. And unfortunately he wasn't allowed to tell the Advisor to stop since the last time he did that the geek Vortian seemed to get mildly offended. Which would have been fine if the information didn't somehow get back to her _royal tallness_ Miyuki. After that so-called incident he had to endure this big equally boring speech from her about intergalactic relations, poise, and other nonsense.

So really all he could do was bide his time until he arrived at the laboratory where the _real_ work was being done.

"I know right! The quantum inducement generator was a real breakthrough in wormhole generation technology but that was months ago." The Ambassador rambled with nothing but absolute glee. "But what you REALLY want to get the mix on is the latest in graviton manipulation. I don't know everything about the subject since I'm more of a electron reception gall but still the research is quite impeccable."

It was at time like this when Spork envied the ability other species had to feel the Smeet release of death much sooner than Irkens. He had zoned so far out of reality that he couldn't even comprehend words, movement, or even the unusual static in the passing electronic posters.

In fact Spork could almost feel his consciousness slipping away into blissful nothingness. Yes it was only a few more seconds away. All he had to do was wai…

"Advisor Spork?" the Ambassador said bringing Spork out of his fugue state.

Spork sighed at not getting his peace, "What is it?" he responded.

"Um, We're here sir." she answered.

Spork then finally got a handle on his environment. Around even the Doorway where he stood was advanced security technology all geared toward safe guarding the room ahead.

The lab itself for that matter was truly a sight to behold for even the easily bored Spork. Irken monitors hanged from the walls of the triangle shaped room while members of both species analyzed the diagrams and data streams. The scientists operating the control panels were hard at work debugging compilation algorithms and designing new additions to what had been consuming his time for the past few months.

While Spork thought that Miyuki was a weak ruler he had to admire her policy when it came to additions to the Irken fleet. Since they had no wars to deal with, the Irken military had time to build up new technologies for their inevitable conquest of the Universe. But none of those previous advancements even came close to the power and respect the _Massive_ demanded.

It was over ten times the size of the Irken's largest vessel the Viral Tank and boasted armor that could withstand the impact of small moons along with shields that would barely even wither under the heat of a yellow sun. It was so mighty that not even the genius of Irken science could fully realize the concept hence the alliance with the Vortians.

Spork was almost saddened by the fact that this grand tool would be brought under realization by Tallest Miyuki. The Vortians could have easily been conquered by the Irken Military and forced into designing the Massive but nooooo they simply had to have that pitiful excuse for an alliance Miyuki threw into order. And to make matters worse it was him that was forced to delegate the trillions of monies going into Research Station 9's effort to create the technology.

One of the Irken Scientists then interrupted Spork's train of thought.

"Sir would you like to speak with the Project Director?" he asked.

"Yeah sure." Spork answered before being escorted to the holography station where the Director worked.

When they got to a reasonable distance behind him Spork could see what he was currently working on. Despite the average Irken being a genius in Mathematics and Science by the standards of most other races Spork could barley understand what the small Vortian was doing. He seemed to be adding new mechanisms to the Massive in its hyperspace generator but that was as far into detail as his knowledge of hyperspace mechanics allowed him to go. Its not like it mattered to Spork though he had always been more accustomed to leadership and strategy than the Advanced Irken Sciences that the Irken Engineers and Scientists practically lived upon.

Finally after putting a few more additions on his design the Vortian director turned around to face the small group.

"Ah Advisor Spork," he acknowledged " What brings you to my humble abode this time?" the Vortian asked.

"Well I came on behalf of her highness Miyuki to check up on the progress of the design as well as your recent demands for more funding." Spork said as he practically duplicated what Miyuki said before he left Irk.

The Vortian Scientist nodded at Spork and took out a data pad and began reading his very specific and very boring report to the Advisor.

* * *

Pain riddled Zim's entire body as his limbs literally dripped with soap and toxin. His head throbbed at a rate that seemed to dwarf earthquakes and his PAK sparked as it diverted its energy to healing Zim's hurt body and mind.

"Thas right you byter run from the almitty ZIM…" he said, stuttering through each word as he tried to form a coherent thought.

After several more minutes of repeating that exact same sentence he finally was able to get up from the floor and register what was around him. The rest of the room was left dry by the computer's onslaught leaving only Zim in a wet and humiliating state. At that point the was glad he still wasn't in basic training and Irken Physics 101 at the Science academy. He would surly have been a laughing stock amongst them!

Zim chuckled softly at the idea of him being a laughing stock. At the academy it was he who demanded respect from the other scientists. Sure there were those times he was laughed at for his inventions…but he knew they were just kidding around. Irken Scientists were known for their humor after all!

Zim shook his head, finally taking himself out of his own thoughts in order to get back to the task at hand. Now that the computer thought Zim was dead he would be able to hack into the commercial directory of the mainframe. From there he would only need to upload his little advertisement and await for the Advisor to take interest.

* * *

"Well that about sums it up then I suppose." the Vortian scientist concluded "Once the transaction is made we'll be able to initialize the final stages of the project for Tallest Miyuki."

"Yes that would be good." Spork said "I'm sure she'll want to personally congratulate you and your team once it is complete." he added knowing full well she would want to be there when the final design was being picked up.

The Vortian nodded before turning back to continue his work, which for Spork was ample reason to conclude that his work for his visit was finally over. He was about to commence his return to his ship when he heard a small gurgle from his stomach area.

He quickly realized that he hadn't eaten anything in nearly two days because of his journey. He was downright starving from and had been to annoyed to notice anything before. Stopping in his tracks, he turned to the Ambassador to ask her a question.

"I feel _slightly_ famished from my journey," he stated "Would you care to take me to the food court?" Spork asked as he grew even more hungry with every second.

"Of course sir! We have a couple of dishes there I'm sure would be to your liking seeing as you are an Irken." she said taking point in front of the Irken as he followed her to the Food Court area.

Spork thought of all of the exotic plants and animals he saw beyond the hanger when he exited his ship and his eyes shrunk in fear. He never ate any Vortian food before and therefore had no idea what types of cuisine they would serve. Spork liked different varieties of food once in a while but there was also a fair share of revolting masses of so called food dishes he encountered whilst visiting other worlds. At that point all he could do was silently pray to Irk that they had something he could eat.

Noticing the Food Court sign up ahead of him Spork gulped in an unoptimistic fashion.

"Well we're here! Choose anything that you like, I'll just be back in the Bureaucracy department. If you need anything or can't find your way back to the hangar just talk to one of the guards." she advised "See you in a couple of months!"

Spork turned away from the annoying Vortian girl to face what food lied ahead of him. What he saw made him want to puke.

Lining the walls of the Cafeteria were booths manned by greasy, ugly Vortians who fried foods Spork couldn't even recognize. His guards looked like they were starting to turn a darker shade of green with Spork, except for the last one which weirdly drooled at the sight of the food.

Spork refused to accept this horrible situation. He figured there had to be _something_ of value that he could eat. Anything even just a simple serving of…

Peppers! Yes at the back of the room was a single, unmanned booth that had peppers. He could eat those!

Spork rushed past the lines of Vortians waiting to get their food and once he got to the empty part of the room he immediately started to eat out of the massive pile of yellow peppers in front of him.

As he finally started to feel some morbid level of satisfaction he turned around.

"Hey these aren't half bad…" he said before seeing that everyone in the Food Court was staring at him in shock.

"What there're just pepp…HOLY MOTHER OF IRK!" he shouted as pain erupted from his mouth and stomach.

Turning to take a second glance at the sign he could see that it said 'Supernova Peppers: Eat at your own risk'.

His head shrunk in horror as he saw his reflection in the metal tile. His face was a bright red and his eyes looked as though they were being bombarded with Solar radiation. Orange foam then began to come out of his mouth, making the Irken loose all sense of reason around him.

He NEEDED something to make it better anything! He looked around him to see nothing but useless trash compactors and more horrified individuals. But as fast he was starting to loose hope of getting relief the advertisement signs all around him flashed into forming the one thing he needed.

A Milkshake.

He took in enough information to know where to go to get his milkshake and ran out of the cafeteria in a storm of maddening pain. His guards tried to slow him down but it was useless, he just pushed right through them with his mind focused on only on that Milkshake.

The leader of the guards stumbled up from the floor. "What's.. Wrong with the Advisor, he's going completely ballistic!" he exclaimed feeling exasperated from Spork's burst of speed.

One of the other guards tried to come up with an answer before he looked up at a nearby sign and started shaking in horror.

"um.. Sir…Y-you may want to see this." the guard said.

"What is it! What do you…Oh Irk!" the leader expressed after seeing what the fine print said.

' _Come down to Biological Development Lab 38 to see the new Atomic Milkshake! Yes, this Milkshake created by the greatest potential Invader of all time is not just delicious but it is also filled with DOOM! One slurp of this doomy drink will cause unimaginable pain and suffering from the person who drinks it making for a perfect Toxin for all your high profile assassination needs! If you wish to promote the Irken responsible please speak with the Great and Powerful ZIM!'_

"We need to get the Advisor! Now!"

 **AN:**

 **Alright so here is chapter 2 of my story! If you guys have any questions about the story I'd be glad to answer them in future author's notes.**

 **Invader Johnny: I'm glad you liked the story. As for the whole "The Trial" thing I am actually aware of that unfinished episode. The whole point of the story is to expand on what was presented in that episode like giving a personality to the previously unknown character of Almighty Tallest Spork. But still I'm glad you decided bring that up and if there are any other plot wholes in this or future chapters concerning my presentation of the lore i would be happy to know about them!**


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